Death is looming before me
As I rode the bus home today from Dr. G, I noticed the passenger sitting beside me was asleep. I watched him smiling softly as he bounced with the bus, and I couldn’t help but wondered what he dreamed about. All of the sudden, I thought “what if he isn’t dreaming of anything?” A deep and dark despair crept up on me, and I became afraid all of the sudden. I don’t want to die… I want to be alive with all my five senses, as sharp as they are today — forever.
I looked up into the bright blue sky through the darkened bus window and I breathed in deeply. Though the air stank slightly of human sweat and cheap perfume, I felt happy to be alive. I felt happy that my head can process and interpret all these information and allowing me to type them down now. I really want to stay alive… I don’t want to sink down to the darkness of a dreamless sleep. I want to keep playing games, listen to music, watch anime, eat food, and everything else that’s sweet and awesome in life. There’s so much I haven’t done, yet the despair that I don’t have enough time left in the world is already starting to overwhelm me.
I felt as if I’m wasting my life.
*sighs*
Well, time to get ready for school… need to get Paul’s radiograph interpreted by Dr. Gohel.