another life blog

In my state of persistent awareness and introspection, I know I’m slowing losing very important things in life. Friends, families, and the never forgiving passage of time – all of them are slipping away from me and it’s all I can do to grab hold of whatever closest to me. As I make new friends, I lose touch with old ones ~ as I gain new family members, old ones are ailing and failing. The passage of time never stops and I must adapt as best as I can to cope with what life deals me.

I don’t remember much of Taiwan and friends I made back in the old country. It’s all a blur to me, and if I have to name my very first friend – his name is Chris Ferris. As a Scottish person, I remember him dressed in kilts and playing a bag pipe. I remember spending nights at his house, playing duck hunt and other silly games. I remember him spending nights at my house, talking about the future and what life holds for us. It was all so long ago – … was it elementary school or middle school? … I don’t recall. I don’t even remember what grade we were in when I first met him. Would I even recognize him if we meet once more? *sighs* We did promise to keep in touch … I remember that much. Did he move away? … Why can’t I recall?

Most of my friends since then were friends of my older brother. To make my “future” better, I went to a school faraway from home and this made hanging out after school difficult. In high school, where social life is supposedly more important than anything else in the world – I didn’t have much of it. Still, I had fun with them ~ Tony, Martin, Mike, David to name a few. They were in our daily lives for the longest time, 10+ years I would say… but now, I know they’re slowly fading away from my memory. I still chat with them once in a while… but of what? Memories of the past? What I’m doing now? Small talks that never amounts to much to be honest. It’s unfortunate, but what can we possibly talk about? Can we talk of life as we did once before?

It’s funny how hard life seemed back in high school. With most classes on AP levels, I … no — I did have time to hang out with people and deepen my relationships with my classmates. Ashish, Adam, Neil, … and so many others who made through the program with me. I still recall their faces, and how we studied and took exams at UCF auditoriums. Our 10 yr high school reunion is coming up… but I’m not going to attend. What can I possibly expect from the reunion when I didn’t keep in touch with all of them? I struggled through 4 years of high school with just 80 people, and 9 years later, I don’t talk to any of them. I added a few of them to my facebook as they are appearing – but again, what can I say to them? “You’re married! Congratulations! You’ve got your PhD! Congrats!”

UF? UCF? I was with Adam Schoenfelder in UF for the first year or two. He introduced me to A Song of Ice and Fire and Wheels of Time – he introduced me to GemStone 3 and allowed me to meet Linda. But now, he is gone too. He was my best friend for at least 5+ years… but now I don’t even know how to contact him. When did I last send him an email? Why did it all stop … ? Juan, & Rob I know you two are still here with me from time to time — but, it’s hard isn’t it? It’s hard to write an email about nothing — we’re guys, and it’d be silly to write an email saying, “Hey, what’s up! The weather in Boston is crazy cold man! I miss the summer time in Orlando!”

Countless other individuals – and they are all slowly slipping through my fingers. As friends fade into the past, new ones appear in the horizon. A person can really only have a few great friends at any given time… that’s all the time a person can handle really. It’s impossible to maintain so many connections … at least for me anyway. I felt as if I’ve written this before, how time and distance cause friends to drift apart. Where families have the inseparable blood bond ~ there’s nothing to keep a friend around once correspondence breaks.

So instead of thinking about old friends, what if I was talking about a young girl I used to date in middle school? A girl who was everything to me and I loved everything about her? What if she moved away because of family and we had to keep a long distance relationships? Could it have worked through high school? I would want it to. I can imagine writing letters to her, sharing my every thought. Perhaps, if we can just make it through high school, and then … maybe we could go to the same University – then it would all work out. It would… wouldn’t it? The movie is called 5 centimeters per second, it will arrive on the DVD shelves around Christmas 2007. Please buy it or rent it.

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This entry was posted on Thursday, August 30th, 2007 at 1:56 am and is filed under Finished Anime. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Responses are currently closed, but you can trackback from your own site.