If only I was 2″ taller, I could be making $1000/month right now!
Earlier today, as I was riding the subway home from work, a poster ad caught my attention — “$1000/month” in big bold print splashed across the page. It was an ad for sperm donation. Yup, if you’re eligible, you can be making $1000 per month just by whacking off into a cup! I really didn’t know people could make this much and I thought instead of just whacking off into the void, I could be making money by visiting the Cambridge Sperm Bank center. Just the thought of hundreds of mini-me running around without knowing I’m their daddy got me a bit excited too – and the prospect of helping infertile daddies wasn’t that bad either!
I mean, look at the taglines:
- Earn up to $1000.00/month
- Be your own boss- Donate at your convenience up to 3 times a week ($75.00/donation)
- Receive a free genetic screening and consultation
- Receive free infectious disease and health screenings
They give you snacks, free porn, and probably got some sexy staff working there too! Can’t really beat that! But then, I went to look at the donor requirement and my dream was shot down instantly. I had to be 5 feet 9 inches tall. Ahh… what the hell. Well, considering this, I’m sure with each generation, the height will only increase slowly. One day, the future generations will all be 6′ tall! Scary thing… genetic.
Speaking of genetics and public transportation… you really can meet a lot of crazy people. I remember during the trip back home to Orlando, someone just started talking to me about Russian president Vladimir Putin was really pissed off at Bush … probably during the funeral procession of Boris Yeltsin. I mean, I was talking to Amerlie about Taiwan, and boom, she came in and started talking about Putin and how angry he was and that we might go to war with Russia! Well, I dunno… maybe she was a seer or something, cause just a couple days ago, Bush announced that Russia is not the enemy! Crazy eh? Super power people get on the bus everyday!
It’s also curious that mentally challenged individuals love riding buses. On several occasions, I see the same Down Syndrome boy riding the same bus all day long! He would just sit there, and stare at people getting on and off the bus. At times, he would shuffle around and change seat to get better look at people that interested him. Heh.
Lastly, there are some evil people on the subway… so if you’re a single girl, you should watch out when riding the subway and making sure you don’t make eye contact with these evil people. On several occasions, I see guys just stare at girls wearing low cut tops and make kissing sounds at them. Nothing similar to Japanese porn happen on the subway, but still… it’s disturbing to witness.
- Help people fulfill their dreams of starting a family