another life blog

The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe is a movie not unlike most epic adventures that we’ve been seeing lately — from Alexander, to Troy, to Lord of the Rings, Narnia tries to imitate these films while catering to the tastes of young teenagers who might have been fascinated with Lewis’ novels. It’s a story about 4 young children who were sent to the countryside to escape the ravaging of London during the World War II. The children, while playing hide & seek, found a huge wardrobe cabinet that led to another world called Narnia. Narnia is a beautiful world where every single animal talks, and magic exists.

Darkness have long existed in the land of Narnia – an ice witch of tremendous power ruled the land with an iron fist and the people long hoped for salvation. The prophecy known to all in the world said when two sons of Adam and two daughters of Eve appears, they will lead the battle toward freedom and peace. The four little Pevensie children stumbled upon the land, where the ice witch activately sought out humans to kill, and the inhabitants looked to humans for hope.

Many in the audience applauded when the movie ended and thought it was the most magical movie they seen since Harry Potter, but to me, I fell asleep. The goddamn movie dragged so much that I can’t help but fall asleep. Perhaps I’m more tired than I thought I was, but damn, it’s not good at all. Of course, why? Why is it bad? 1) The script was not believable 2) The children actors failed to elicit any emotions 3) The soundtrack, though composed by Harry Gregson-Williams, did not kick as much ass as it should’ve and 4) James McAvoy’s nipples.

So we got the little kids running around. Lucy was given a dagger and a heal-all potion. Susan was given a bow and arrow. Peter was given a sword and shield. Edmund wasn’t given shit cause he wanted to eat candies. Now, it’s okay with Lucy and Susan — because their weapons are imbued with the magic of hitting whatever hell they’re aiming at – but Peter…? He can barely hold the shiny sword! How the hell was he able to charge in the battle forefront and not be diced into smithereens instantly?! Oh, because he practiced for all of 10 minutes, he can now hold his own against Connor MacLeod?! Seeing that just pissed me off to no ends.

Lucy and Susan… ahh, how sweet they are, crying on top of the stone tablet all night long. I’m sorry little one, but if you’re smiling and trying to suppress giggles while you’re sniffling, I can’t really believe that you’re sad. And, why the hell would you be so sad over someone you just met for all of 10 minutes and didn’t do jack for you?

Edmund – I can’t believe he was so easily swayed to follow the ice witch’s sweet words. One moment, he had a knife pressed up against his neck, and the next, he is willing to give up his family for some dessert. It’s not like they’ve been starving for years.

Mr Tumnus… he is just annoying and I wanted nothing more than stop him from talking.

Now, why did I fall asleep? Mmm… well, I suppose it’s really the mood, the acting, and the script – none of it had my attention at all. I didn’t really care what’s going to happen next because any idiot could’ve foretold what’d happen. Witch has her grip over the land – the prophecy says this — what’s gonna deviate? Nothing. And the scenes… my god, even the 12 year old sitting next to me said, “wow, the background look so fake!”

Well… I really don’t care to write anything more on the movie. I didn’t like it, many others did. That’s about it =)

This entry was posted on Sunday, December 11th, 2005 at 11:21 pm and is filed under Movies and Music. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.